2010-12-31
The power of goodbye
Thank you Krittybean for your sweet voice and passionate singing.
I've started to see women's psychic energy, not their size, shape, or look. I let go of projections from my psychic holes. Say goodbye to my dreams for specific women. Life is flowing. I enjoy my own seeing.
To lose is good. To quit from school, lose the job and get heart-broken is good. Suddenly one might find that there is nothing left to lose, stay in the bottom of the valley, no where to go, nothing to do but just be.
The single seed of an inquiring idea in the vacuum could possibly flower into a lucid enlightening dream.
I enjoy the highest peak. I enjoy the deepest bottom. I enjoy being the noble and the humble as well. Enjoy the tense contrast between the extremes.
I enjoy life, so I will come back to live and die again and again, sometimes in a form of avatar.
This is the last day of 2010, goodbye ~
Goodbye 2010 ~
2010-12-30
To My First Spiritual Teacher
Dear SL,
It's always nice to hear from you. We are not just friends, and actually you are my first spiritual teacher, although I finally left the Church many years ago.
I'm posting here again what I wrote in the emails we exchanged before:
More than twenty years ago, a midway between my sessions with you in your priest room upstairs on Thursday nights, there was a whole week just after one session and before the next, no job, no study, no love affair in those blank days, my whole mind reflecting on a single scene where in a restaurant, my first girl friend told me her decision to marry a long-time-no-see friend of hers, the beautiful sunset vividly remembered, but when I inquired the emotional content, with my mind flashing back and forth, nothing could be conjured up. The week was silently passing. Just on the Thursday morning, the moment I woke up I remembered I had a dream: there was a window in a dark room, with very bright sunshine beyond the window, my girl friend and I facing the bright light out there, my arms appearing to embrace her waist lightly, and a very big mercury-like teardrop lying and curving on the floor - that was my teardrop; awakened to know that I had repressed my emotions, I went through a psychoanalytic recovery with a great help from you - many thanks to you! - a glimpse of truth, one of the rare precious moments in my life!
It is very impressive that you said the Spirit was hovering above us, you were doing your job, I was prepared, while I described the happening diagonally as a zen adventure out of the blue ... no you, no me, no God ........ how beautiful the empty space was ... for there was no need to explain anything.
I would be very grateful to talk with you perhaps in a few days about other themes you touched in your email.
Happy new year 2011,
Tameer
It's always nice to hear from you. We are not just friends, and actually you are my first spiritual teacher, although I finally left the Church many years ago.
I'm posting here again what I wrote in the emails we exchanged before:
More than twenty years ago, a midway between my sessions with you in your priest room upstairs on Thursday nights, there was a whole week just after one session and before the next, no job, no study, no love affair in those blank days, my whole mind reflecting on a single scene where in a restaurant, my first girl friend told me her decision to marry a long-time-no-see friend of hers, the beautiful sunset vividly remembered, but when I inquired the emotional content, with my mind flashing back and forth, nothing could be conjured up. The week was silently passing. Just on the Thursday morning, the moment I woke up I remembered I had a dream: there was a window in a dark room, with very bright sunshine beyond the window, my girl friend and I facing the bright light out there, my arms appearing to embrace her waist lightly, and a very big mercury-like teardrop lying and curving on the floor - that was my teardrop; awakened to know that I had repressed my emotions, I went through a psychoanalytic recovery with a great help from you - many thanks to you! - a glimpse of truth, one of the rare precious moments in my life!
It is very impressive that you said the Spirit was hovering above us, you were doing your job, I was prepared, while I described the happening diagonally as a zen adventure out of the blue ... no you, no me, no God ........ how beautiful the empty space was ... for there was no need to explain anything.
I would be very grateful to talk with you perhaps in a few days about other themes you touched in your email.
Happy new year 2011,
Tameer
2010-12-22
死別容易生離難
死別容易生離難, 想泣別, 卻無緣,
想細訴思念, 卻無風送相思。
美麗青睞給我加冕, 曲終人散時, 卻變了情份的乞丐。
人在流淚, 天在看, 天在流淚, 人在煉石補青天。
只願化作彩虹穿越奈何天, 忘情忘我。
P.S. 黃耀明唱風月寶鑑配逆水寒的影像, 透出一種陽剛的悲懷, 不是情侶的離愁別緒。處境歸處境, 我並不是處境, 請不要為我擔心。
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